Weaving in the dropped threads...
Working with Attachment-Informed Alchemical Integration
Sounds a bit like a cliché, but it's looking like I have become an accidental birder.
Bless their little hearts, birds have somehow drawn the focus of my attention, and become recipients of my adoration & curiosity as of late. And delightfully, they seem to be noticing me as much as I am noticing them. Showing up in ways, times and locations that stir something deep within me, sparking insight, which for me leads to meaning and increased understanding. I've been deeply enjoying their beauty, appreciating how nature has so much to teach us.
For several years now there has been a nest perched just outside my back door. Early spring sees this nest filled with parents, then eggs, then babies. By mid spring, there is a LOT of movement back and forth, fetching nourishment for the hungry babes. By early to mid summer, the movement is of the baby birds, making their first flights, and returns to home.
This year I found myself drawn with increasing frequency to look.. what are they up to? I found myself standing, gazing, seeking, checking. Slipping into longer & longer windows of stillness and quiet as I watched their goings on. I became quite enchanted with this years two fledglings, and began considering their wellbeing more deeply. When I noticed the baby birds spending a lot of time low to the ground (* actually, perched on the dogs slightly deflated volleyball, which looked beyond adorable!) I felt some concern stir. I wondered if they were safe, as it seemed so vulnerable to be so small, so fresh into this world, and so low to the ground.
Like any new birder would, I did some research. Turns out what was happening was typical, and natural, truly part of the arc of their normal development. The parents, albeit out of my view, would be close by and watchful, communicating, teaching. The little birds would slowly but surely expand the length of flight, learn to catch bugs, listen to & observe their environment, to communicate effectively with the world around them. Through this process they would weave experienctial threads informing development, becoming competent, thus able to successfully navigate the terrain that surrounded them. In this way they maintain coherence, which aligns them with their highest good.
I was surprised when tears of relief came at reading this. They were in an environment that supported their development, in service of being a successful adult bird. Leaning in, I made contact with the parts of myself that did not receive the early developmental support I needed, and then it made sense. As with many reasonably successful adults, there are dropped threads in the weave of my development. Human beings are quite astonishing in that we still function pretty darn well in spite of dropped threads. Aaaaand, there are moments when the dropped threads really show up and cause a ruckus. Places where chaos, suffering, drama, and frustration ensue, often to the bewilderment of the person striving for wellbeing. Such a tender thing to sit with and witness.
And I see it all the time. Folks who try hard, work hard, aim high, and somehow, always unspool, fall apart, miss the mark, repeat the patterns they so desperately wish to eclipse.
The deep (and waiting to be discovered) blessing is that these incomplete processes wait for us. Suspended in time and space, the paused process from your third year of life waits...
For many, this can feel like punishment until we can see clearly that it is simply an incomplete sequence.
Metaphorically speaking, I can't ice the cake until it has both been baked and cooled, if I want success. And bless our collective hearts, how many of us are operaring around a hotly baked cake, with the icing sliding off the side, creating a beautiful, well intended, mess. The orderly, sequential layering is required for a different outcome. Nature requires orderly steps to be followed if we wish to experience harmony and coherence. Thankfully, human development doesn't require us to be "rebaked", but allows us to notice the dropped thread, claim it lovingly in hand, and weave it in.
Where do we start?
At the edgs of the dropped thread. Literally picking up where it was left off. With support. One of the things I now know to be true: Relational trauma is healed IN relationship! Although healing our developmental trauma is an inside job, skillful external witness, qualified resource and respectful holding are required.
This is where Attachment-Informed Alchemical Integration comes into play. Of deep service, this beautiful menagerie of tools, technoligies and truths, we can utilze this in service of moving towards coherence, aka - no more dropped threads. Given the widely recognized idea that healing is an inside job, Attachment -Informed Alchemical Integration is a greatly helpful support for this beautiful, sacred work. Within the wheelhouse of this gorgeous collaboration of alchemy and attachment theory, we do not have to relive the worst, but can access tools & technologies that greatly aid in easeful, graceful, dignified movement forward.
If this stirs something within you, and you wish to explore more fully, feel free to connect .
Wishing the best for all,
Nicole
