An Exploration of Softness…
A sampling of technologies for working with the tough stuff
For most of us, soft is not what first comes to mind when faced with the gnarly, seemingly immovable, even scary stuff we wish was not in our lives, fields, bodies, memories or awareness...
Bless, I get it. As someone with a significant trauma history, I wanted protection. For years I was taught that fighting fire with fire was the only way... Protection was said to be found in battle, safety came from the presence of the spiky & the acerbic (think witches salt, fire belts, gnarly familiars, the hard impenetrable shell of an energetic black mirror....). While these methods brought some measure of success, I found them exhausting and maintaining them hard on the system. For me, they amplified the tendencies of my already ragged nervous system, keeping it in fight & flight, hyper-vigilance and fearful anticipation. War, after all, is war. Even when it is framed as a fight for the Light, it is still a battle.
The introduction to an array of ancient alchemical tools changed my mind, my practice and my life, all for the better. Deeply feminine in nature, the practice of Softness has truly won my heart, and feels like a wonderful remembrance. As someone once said to me, “Softness is the strongest substance in creation... you simply cannot break it, because of its intrinsic nature, it continues to soften infinitely and indefinitely"...
Here I will offer a short introduction to three expressions of Softness and the ways I currently work with them. As always, practice wise discernment friend, take what resonates, leave the rest.
Enter the Rose. Bless her beauty, her fragrance. Her grace, her softness. I was curious enough to try this new tool, and am forever grateful for it. There are so many ways to receive from this technology, and one of my favourites is creating an energetic rose to sweep through my field, cleansing and clearing me of all that is not mine, all that is no longer in service of my wellbeing, then, seeing the rose outside of my personal space bubble, I explode the rose.
Simple.
And so effective.
I've truly enjoyed playing with this, allowing myself to experience different coloured roses , and notice how the roses feel while they pass through my system. Another favourite is creating roses around my car as I drive, especially when I'm in tight traffic & can feel all the tension, anxiety and stressful rushing of other drivers.
Sometimes I even imagine that rose petals come flying out of my exhaust pipes, floating & coating the streets, cars, drivers and landscape behind me. Blessing it all with Softness. It is a delightful pleasure to watch the driver behind me slow, and soften, probably unsure as to why the sudden mellow.... makes me chuckle every time. Its hard to maintain being aggressive or cranky when up to ones eyeballs in rose petals.
Another interesting practice has been to engage in softening around that which I wish to let go. At first this was very challenging & my rational mind would just go bonkers.....
WHAT?!
Soften, around that danger? That thing I am trying to defend myself from? That thing I'm avoiding, or afraid of? That thing that hurt me?
Are you kidding?!
We've all been affected by an extractive, surgical culture... I have to make it leave, cut it out, bar against it. But soften? Hmmmmm..For many this seems counter-intuitive. We can even fear that softening could create an opening, be mistaken for an invitation, risking further harm, deeper entrenchment, further invasion.
I'm willing to try just about anything once, so gave Softening a try with a memory/energy dynamic I had been unable to clear any other way . To say I was amazed and delighted with the outcome would be an understatement. I wept tears of joy (more softening).
Through this experiment I realized that softening deeply aids in releasing. Imagine trying to let go of a key you have tightly held in your hand.
Bless, even it's departure from your space is going to hurt. Now imagine opening your hand, letting your grip soften, allowing it to be relaxed & open without tension. So easy for that "thing" to be realized this way.
Holding a stiff body posture, chronic tension, or stiff muscles are often due to the energies we hold, unknowingly in our bodies, a "memory of harm, stress or fear". Intentionally softening allows the body to relax, and the shrapnel embedded in our system can simply fall away, as it is no longer held by our own tension.
Curiously, I have seen some of my best personal results with some of the toughest dynamics. Things I had the most resistance to , simply sliding away, as they were no longer held by my system. And all the time I had suffered their presence, I thought they were holding onto me!
My sense is that this is effective, in part, due to the vibrational nature of softness. It is such a high, pure, clean energy, all that the lower frequency energies lack. They rely on conditions that support them to survive. When the field becomes soft, it is inhospitable to the lower vibrational frequencies, kind of like when we alter a field from acidic to alkaline. This is not to say that the field of Softness is open to all and everything... to the contrary. Softness resonates with elegance, grace, dignity, discerning and sovereign by nature.
The last experiment I would like to share is playing with an energetic substance I fondly refer to as Silky Slip.
While I was an active potter, there were many things I deeply loved about the practice. Working with all the elements was a joy; fire, water, earth and air. It was many years later that I realized the potency of engaging with what is called slip. It is created by the clay that is sloughed off the pot you are working with, as it becomes saturated with water. I was what is affectionately known as a "water potter", so I made a lot of slip! Slip is just that, it's slippery. The clay has become so soft that it no longer holds form, more water than earth. We can find this in the sumptuous substance in the silty bottoms of creeks, riverbeds, & lakes. It has a sensuous, easeful energy to it, and also is highly unsupportive of hard movements. Just try getting traction on a wet, slippery, muddy clay slope. The Softness will not let you!
I like to imagine applying generous dollops of Silky Slip, almost the texture of soft whipping cream, to the outermost edges of my personal space bubble. Leaning into the rich field of Somatic Awareness ( a gorgeous trauma healing modality) I make note of the descriptors. For me, the Silky Slip is a lavender-grey, smells like honey & cardamom, sounds like a laughing creek, and is the temperature of a warm spring breeze. Giving my attention to these details allows my soma (body) to show me what it needs. The sensation that arises when I hold this description brings deep ease, relaxation & spaciousness. As I pass by the unwanted, the gnarly, the nasty, the prickly burs of life, they simply slide off, unable to successfully attach, no effort required on my part.
When old thought patterns pop up, of worry, judgement, or fear, I acknowledge them for what they are and playfully say "Silky Slip", choosing to be in masterful control over what enters my space.
Adding humour to this makes it more fun for me, and I playfully imagine the unwanted energies slipping & sliding, exhausting themselves, kind of like an old slapstick comedy sketch, covered top to tail in Silky Slip. What I've noticed is that it does't take long before they move on! No harm, no foul, just a lot of slip....
(made myself laugh out loud there, hope you find the humour as well!)
Maybe you will enjoy your own exploration of Softness, possibly inviting it into your world, your awareness, and even your practices.
Sending the softness of silk, slip and sweet rose petals your way,
Nicole
